Living with Purpose at the End of Life

Even when someone is nearing the end of life, they still have hopes, priorities, and goals that matter deeply. These may not be about curing illness but about connecting with family, expressing gratitude, making amends, or completing a meaningful project. Taking time to reflect on what truly matters allows people to live fully and with purpose in the time they have left, and make deliberate decisions about how they want to spend their remaining days.

Planning Ahead

Share your goals with your doctor.

If you are seriously ill or frail due to aging, an important first step is to speak openly with your health care team and doctor about your condition and what to expect in the days ahead. Ask questions until you feel you have a clear understanding of your diagnosis, your prognosis, and the likely course of your illness. With this knowledge, you can face the future with honesty and clarity, and accept what is coming. You can then turn your focus toward what matters most to you.

Talking with your doctor also can help your medical team support you in realizing your plans. Your doctor can advise you on filling out a POLST form, if you both agree that having this form would be a beneficial part of your advance care planning.

How to prepare for a conversation with your health care provider:

  • Invite your surrogate (or proxy or health care power of attorney), a family member, a friend, in essence, your care partners and/or spiritual advisor to the conversation.
  • Think about what makes a good day for you and what goals you have.
  • Bring your advance care plan, such as an advance directive, living will, or health care power of attorney. If you need an advance directive, here are three options that might be helpful:

Talk to the people who care about you.

The POLST form is a medical order between you and your doctor, but it’s important that your family and care partners know that there are end-of-life treatments that you do and do not want, and that you have a POLST form and where to find it. By telling your family and care partners about your goals should a life-threatening emergency happen, it’s more likely that your POLST can be presented to emergency personnel and that your wishes will be honored.

Margot’s Story

FAQs About Talking to Your Doctor and Loved Ones About POLST

  • Can my surrogate (or proxy or health care agent or representative) create a POLST form for me or change my POLST form?

    In most states, yes. This is why having an advance directive is so important. In your advance directive you identify who you want to make medical decisions for you when you cannot communicate or participate in those discussions. As your medical condition changes, your POLST form may no longer be appropriate and need to be changed. In most states, your provider can talk with your surrogate and change your POLST. Some states restrict what changes a surrogate can make. Check with your state POLST Program about what is allowed in your state.

  • What if my provider doesn’t want to sign a POLST form for me?

    Some states prohibit providers signing POLST forms for healthy patients. In other cases, providers may be uncomfortable signing a POLST form if they do not know the patient well or are uncomfortable with the choices the patient is making. POLST forms are medical orders and providers can be held accountable if they inappropriately sign a POLST form, just like if they inappropriately sign any other medical order or prescription.

  • Will my POLST form be honored in another state?

    Most likely, yes, but there are some limitations. If you are traveling to another state, it is a good idea to take your Advance Directive and your POLST form with you. Both documents, even if not legally binding, will help healthcare professionals know your wishes and a new POLST form can be completed.

    If you are moving, you should bring your POLST form with you to your first appointment with your new health care professional to put your wishes on that state’s POLST form. You should also talk to your attorney about updating your advance directive as some states require you to use a specific form in order for your advance directive to be valid.

Your Next Step

Understand Your POLST Form Decisions

Next, take a look at the basic questions a POLST form asks as you contemplate what treatments you want and do not want.

POLST Form Decisions